The Steps to Confession are:
Examination of Conscience
Before
we get to the church, we mentally review our sins and determine
what needs to be confessed. There are various methods of doing
this, but one good way is to consider your Duties to God, Church,
family, society and to yourself to see where you've failed to
honor them. A detailed way of doing this is provided in the "What
to Confess: a guide to Examination of Conscience" section at the
bottom of the page.
A Catholic is required to go to Confession once a year and also
at any time of the year he has mortal sin on his soul (is "not
in a state of grace"), especially if he desires to receive the
Holy Eucharist. But weekly -- at least monthly - Confessions are
encouraged.
The Sacrament is normally offered before every Mass (Sunday &
weekday). You can also call your priest to set up an appointment
for the Sacrament (for "just reason" only, you have the option
of receiving the Sacrament face to face, outside of the Confessional,
but this is not standard and should not be treated as though it
is). Most Traditional Catholic Churches have confession before
all Masses.
What Penance is: it is the Sacramental pardoning of the
eternal effects of our sins for which we are truly contrite. It
is effected by Christ, Who paid their eternal wages with His passion
and Crucifixion, through His priests using proper form. Through
the Sacrament, Christ gives us not only forgiveness, but grace
to remain steadfast.
What Penance is not: psychotherapy. While the priest may
give you some direction and advice in the Confessional, if you
have general problems or spiritual issues you want to discuss,
you should set an appointment to talk with him. This is especially
true at a Confession before Mass where people are in line behind
you and time is short.
Contrition
Contrition
is "willful regret" for one's sins. It isn't a matter
of one's feelings of guilt, but of conviction of the evil of sin
and the resolution to sin no more. In other words, contrition
is rooted in the will, not in the emotions. For example, some
people are more emotional than others: some get a case of the
"scruples" and feel shame or guilt over any little thing, whether
it's sin or not; others can commit murder and never "wallow" in
guilt but are still truly contrite. The one is not necessarily
more "holy" or making a better Confession than the other. What
matters is their conviction -- their will to offend God no more,
and their resolution to make reparations as far as possible, do
their penance, and patiently bear the temporal effects of their
sins. Without contrition, Confession is not valid.
"Imperfect Contrition" (also called "attrition") is regret out
of fear of God's just punishments for sin; "Perfect Contrition"
is regret for having offended God. We must always strive for the
latter, which always absolves sin in itself if it is coupled
with the will to also receive the Sacrament.
One of the keys to confession is the desire to be rid of all of
one's sins. If this is your will, if this is your desire, if you
are willing to confess all of your sins and do your penance and
resolve to sin no more, then your sins will be forgiven - all
of them, even those you may have truly forgotten about.
But don't kid yourself, either, and think you can skip mentioning
this sin or that one because you're embarrassed. Don't lie to
yourself, to your priest, or to God, by omission.
Confessing Your Sins to God through
His Priests
When
the Sacrament is typically offered: before Masses and by appointment.
When you get to the church at the time the Sacrament is offered,
you may or may not find a line of people lined up in a pew outside
the Confessional. Just take your place in line, keeping a wide
berth of the Confessional itself if it is occupied by a fellow
penitent (it is very rude to be near the Confessional when someone
else is using it!).
Our confessionals have a white light shining when a priest is
available in the Confessional, and a red light shining when someone
is in the Confessional with him, receiving the Sacrament. When
it's your turn, enter the Confessional and kneel.
When you are ready to begin, make the Sign of the Cross and say,
in a whisper, but loud enough so he can hear you:
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It is ( N days, weeks, months,
years ) since my last Confession. I accuse myself of the following
sins.
You
then name the sins you need to confess, indicating, in the case
of mortal sins, how many times you've committed them. If you're
unsure of exact numbers -- but only if you are unsure -- tell
him "about how many" times you've committed the sin. Ex., "I've
lied to my mother twice, I stole a candy bar from work once, etc."
Don't go into a lot of detail, don't name other people who may
have sinned with you, but do tell him what he needs to know in
order to understand relevant circumstances of the particular sins
-- that is, circumstances that might mitigate your culpability
or make you more culpable. For example, telling him about stealing
a loaf of bread because you were starving will elicit a different
penance and spiritual direction. If you are unsure as to whether
a particular act was a sin, tell him. As you speak, he may stop
you to ask you questions for clarification.
When you are finished, indicate so by saying something like the
following traditional words:
For
these and all the sins of my past life, I am truly sorry.
Penance
Now
the priest will give you penance to help you pay for the temporal
effects of your sins. He might ask you to say certain prayers,
he may ask you to do certain good works, etc. If there is restitution
to be made, he might ask you to do so. Whatever he asks you to
do, accomplish it as soon as possible after leaving the Confessional.
Act of Contrition
Now
you will make an Act of Contrition to express your sorrow at having
offended God and resolving to sin no more. The traditional way
of doing this is to recite aloud the prayer called "Act
of Contrition":
O
my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee and I detest
all my sins because I dread the loss of Heaven and the pains of
Hell, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who art
all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with
the help of Thy grace, to confess my sins, to do penance and to
amend my life. Amen.
If you have a hard time memorizing, you can take the Examination
cards found in the pew into the confessional with you, as they
have the Act of Contrition on them -- but you should try to memorize
the Act of Contrition and teach it to your children.
Absolution
Now
comes the good part (it may come as you make your Act of
Contrition, so don't be confused if the priest starts whispering
in Latin as you pray): Christ, through His priest, grants you
absolution in a form that includes the words below. Without the
words in italics (the very form of the Sacrament), the Sacrament
is not valid:
Dominus
noster Jesus Christus te absolvat; et ego auctoritate ipsius te
absolvo ab omni vinculo excommunicationis et interdicti in quantum
possum et tu indiges. [making the Sign of the Cross:] Deinde,
ego te absolvo a peccatis tuis in nomine Patris, et Filii, et
Spiritus Sancti. Amen.
English translation:
May our Lord Jesus Christ absolve you; and by His authority
I absolve you from every bond of excommunication and interdict,
so far as my power allows and your needs require. [making the
Sign of the Cross:] Thereupon, I absolve you of your sins in the
name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
He
will pray a prayer for you:
Passio
Domini nostri Jesu Christi, merita Beatae Mariae Virginis et omnium
sanctorum, quidquid boni feceris vel mail sustinueris sint tibi
in remissionem peccatorum, augmentum gratiae et praemium vitae
aeternae.
English translation:
May the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ, the merits of the
Blessed Virgin Mary and of all the saints obtain for you that
whatever good you do or whatever evil you bear might merit for
you the remission of your sins, the increase of grace and the
reward of everlasting life.
The Sacrament is now complete. The priest will dismiss you, perhaps
with a final blessing. Thank him, bless yourself, and leave the
Confessional.
Carrying out your Penance
As
soon as possible, carry out the penance you were given. Do all
you can to avoid near occasions of sin, to bear patiently the
temporal effects of the sins you've committed, to make restitution
to anyone you've harmed. You may add penances of your own devising
to the one(s) the priest gave you. But, no matter what, savor
the sweet knowledge that you are forgiven. Praise to our
Lord Jesus Christ, the Lamb of God Who takes away the sins of
the world! He has said the word, and you have been healed!
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